My laptops broken. Done for good. So I have to use the dinosaur computer downstairs that freezes. But life is pretty nice. Been doing a lot of thinking and I am happy:) Just need a few changes to be done. AND UHH MY HEALTH BOOK HAS GONE MISSING! I turned in someone else’s.. $103 fine:( hopefully it shows up! And oh I’m glad were friends again, it’s nice to have you back. But as for you, read the title above..
Wooow:) I have never talked to you. Seen you maybe twice. I don’t even think a ton of you, just a little. But for some reason you gave me some kind of hope even though I don’t think I want anything of it! I’m so happy, full 360. I’m slowly learning, I don’t have much control over things. And just the fact that there is something to be hopeful of, just about everything in life in general is great. Something NEW. That’s all I asked for, a little change. So I’m ready to see how things flowww. I have no idea why this is impacting me so much but it deffinetly has:)
My feelings continue to grow even though you’re not real. I feel so lonley. Sort of worthless. Like everyone is just so peachy and I’m left behind. It’s starting to hurt. Why do some people deserve so much for being like that. Maybe I just need to stop and think, I need time away from you two. It’s starting to annoy me and make me feel worse, so I think it’s time for some well needed space.
You know the saying, “I don’t need a man to make me happy,” honestly, I feel like I have a missing part of myself. I feel so alone right now. I have lots of friends around me but it’s just different. I would love to have a boyfriend right now. Someone who I can always talk to. Someone I can look at and instantly feel happy. Someone who will always be there for me. I know that would fix my problem. Honestly, I’ve waited a long time. And all I want is someone who loves me. I’ve been so unhappy lately. I feel like my life is playing on a record player. I just want to break away and find something new. I love my friends, I really do, but sometimes I feel like I’m just standing there invisable. I feel like I don’t have someone to tell all my problems too. I’m tired of the same drama and topics talked about everyday.
All I want is a guy I can look at and feel sparks. Another best friend. Is that too much to ask for?? I guess I’ll find out. This has been really hard for me. It’s honestly been on my mind more and more each day to the point where I can’t get it off my mind. I’ve mainly waited about a year for this. But recently in the past few months it’s been killing me and I don’t know why. I guess I just feel lonley and a bit unloved. And I would love to have someone like a boyfriend in my life right now. But I won’t settle for just anyone. That’s why my school sucks.
No one new. No one I’m interested in… Looks like I need a miracle, or I’ll be waiting a long time until I feel really happy again.
Everybody needs inspiration
Everybody needs a soul
A beautiful melody
When the nights so long
‘Cause there’s no guarantee
That this life is easy,
When my world is falling apart
When theres no light to break up the dark
That’s when I,
I look at you.
When the waves are flooding the shore
And I can’t find my way home anymore
That’s when I,
I look at you.
Today I realized that I would only consider dating two guys from my whole high school. Both of which are druggies. And both of which I barely/never talk to. Wow, can we switch some average unattractive guys for some hotties please??
We are clearly not as close as we used to be and sometimes you don’t talk to me for a week, sometimes you want to hang out with me everyday. I’m tired of trying to read your mixed signals. I don’t want to be your best friend only when you don’t have a guy in your life.. ok?
Sixty dollars for leggings!? Sheeesh. And they are even on sale.. The sad part is I might actually buy them. They are soo cute.
Uhhhg…The last few hours of my break are devoted to reading 100 pages of Lord of the Flies. Not exactly my first choice of entertainment. Why do I always wait to do things last minute?? That will be my new years resolution; Stop Procrastinating!